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March 2015

Browsing

Today again I feel restless and know that though there is no clear thought, yet, there are a lot of words that need a vent.

Not mere words, disjointed, but deep thoughts. Might not mean anything to many, but may make some sense to a few. Some wanders out there, who connect through words and chords. I feel, as if someone has strummed a guitar somewhere, and it resonates in my head. There is so much vibration that I cannot concentrate anywhere. I need to find that character. I need to give him a name. I need to create that face. Give some definition. Does he have wrinkles? Does he have a mole? Is his voice soul-stirring? I know nothing. Nothing yet. But I am restless to find. To create. I am restless to see him take shape. Why do I feel there is no time? Why do I feel I am racing against time? But for a fact, shaping of characters does take time!

As I fight with the vibrations in my head, the night sleeps, the household sleeps. A gentle calm prevails. Let me close my eyes and try to get some to sleep too.

Good Night

There are days when I walk around in daze. Things get done. But my heart is not in it. There is a haze in my eyes. The alphabets glide and trickle down my brows and into my eyes and roll down my cheeks.

What is it that drives me into that state? Well, I think, when I put off writing a bit too long and the thoughts crowd my mind. When the tussle in my mind is:  weather to give the next two hours to my work deadline or to settle in my corner all cuddled up with a cup of coffee to pen down my thoughts. A moment when I am too close to my thoughts to make any sense of them, yet I know that they would make sense in time and usually they do, when they fit within the larger picture.

For now, I have to just keep moving… in directions apparently random, blindly guided by my own steps and not sure of the destination. Many destinations and all appear hazy and crisscrossed. But the fire in me, I am sure, would melt the waste around the core! I hope one day I can see the core, shining in my eyes… bright like a diamond!

 

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